Welcome to the website of J.D. McBride!

 

You've come to a place where prayers are answered and dreams all come true, where the rocks are all diamonds and the sky always blue... but I jest.

My given name is Joseph Allen McBride, but only tele marketers and my third grade music teacher would call me that. Most people call me Joe; for some, it's Joey; and a few old friends and some new still call me Duff. It's a nickname taken from the character Macduff, from Shakespeare's classic play, Macbeth . My mother gave me the name when I was just days old, so on this site and in A Tale of Two Gimps, I'll be known as Duff. I was born in Idaho ("The state nobody uses," Al Bundy once said), grew up in a suburb of Philadelphia, and moved back to Idaho in October '05. I don't miss the crowds of people and traffic jams back east, but the moose hair blowing onto my windshield here has become an annoying and everyday occurrence.

I've always been quick with one-liners, oftentimes using double entendres or sexual innuendo to get a giggle from my intended audience, and I'm giddy with gratitude when I get that result. Keeping with that theme, my books do feature off-colored humor to help feed your funny bone, though some might refer to it as toilet humor. I'd refute that description, but I recall what Buckington Butt III says to Richard Hare in Act 1: “Well, you gotta understand that all the shit at those shindigs is free, and the booze was overflowin' like my toilet the morning after I eat Mexican…and I don't mean Eva Hernandez.” I guess that's toilet humor…literally.

I'm a grownup who has yet to grow up, but I'm a responsible adult who pays his bills on time and is respectful of his elders... what few of them are left. I strike up conversations with people in parking lots, and usually leave them with smiles on their faces, because fun really is the best thing to have. Some people have asked me how I can stay so positive with all the pain I've endured, and I'm never sure how to answer them. It must be the same reason Pinocchio has wooden gonads… it just is what it is, and thank God for that. Perseverance and positivity are as important to me as a hundred dollar bill is to a destitute prostitute, and I've been blessed to possess a lot of both. You'll see some of that in the true story, A Tale of Two Gimps, and you'll meet a guy named Mouse, a guy who is different than anyone you know or ever heard of. The fictional accounts of the series of books called The Village of Butt will have you snickering at the shenanigans of the billionaire Buckington, and the quirky characters that surround him. Laughter is the best medicine that I know of, and you'll get those and much more with any or all of my books on this site. And if I may ask you a question…in the trying times in which we live, who among us doesn't need a good laugh?

Quotables